Sometimes we read things on others Facebook posts that were not necessarily meant for us but the point is taken anyways.
Today was one of those days as I glanced upon my wall and saw a post about Motherless by Choice. It hit a nerve with me and hurt.
If I could be anywhere today just for a fleeting moment in time it would be to sit next to both of my daughters just for a few minutes of their busy lives.
To be able to give them a hug, a big kiss and tell them that I truly do love them. How proud I am of them and their success in life.
I know that there are scars in the past life and that they hold them tight. My heart aches over this and you can’t go back and erase time or get a redo.
Life is a learning curve. We learn from our mistakes. We get stronger as we get older and we learn what not to do again.
I have asked forgiveness and was not allowed to have it. From that one must go one with life. It does not help the pain.
As I sit here and shed tears it does no good. I realize this. Only a head ache will occur.
Just a few minutes to hug my grand children would feel so good. I am not getting any younger and I know that my health is not getting any better either.
These past few years have really taken a toll on me and as I reflect back it is useless to comprehend on what could have been different. It can’t change now.
Little do they know that my heart is always with them and that my thoughts follow them through their journey of life. Even if it is only on Facebook or an occasional text.
Perhaps some day things will be different. I pray every night that God will soften the pain for all three of us.