This road trip is a little different today. Since I received a 3 in 1 Award from http://nanuschka.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/304/
My jiggly bits.
I’ve always wanted to be one of those girls who – when standing – had so much space between their thighs a freight train could barrel through my waif-like gams. And I would barely notice.
Much like 99.9% of my very limited and uneventful sexual encounters, my response would be, “Um… did something just happen. Should I turn off the TV? I felt nothing between my legs.”
Why so happily aloof?
Because my thighs never touch. Like ever.
In my head, my existence became a mythical tale of leg gap wonders….
Strong winds would pass through my legs just to say “hello.” And rabbits and fairies visited my cavernous gap just to spread the word throughout my fairy tale kingdom, “All hail! The gap is here. Let there be peace in this unencumbered crotch. Amen.”
And it – life – would be totally rad.
So flippin’ perfect.
Just me and my leg gap and my fully encumbered crotch.
Except it wasn’t the end – ‘cause it didn’t really happen.
Here is what did.
Decades of hating my body. Decades of hating my thighs – and the rest of my jiggly bits. And decades of trying to be something I was not.
I mean that fact is… A unicorn will gallop through my living room long before my sumptuous thighs evaporate.
I am tall. I am muscular as hell. And that is simply – the deal. I am never ever gonna be a waif.
On a good day, I am the most fit version of me. Vibrant. Happy. Mouthy. A little sarcastic. Quick with a lame story. But by no means a waif.
About 3 years ago, I started blogging about my weight loss journey. I lost about 55 pounds and I continued to write until I embraced all of my jiggly bits. That said, this is not a weight loss blog.
Let me say it again – not, not, not.
I have spent decades talking about my weight, obsessing over it, weighing myself to exhaustion. The fact is I am gonna eat well and exercise or not.
Further, I don’t ask people about their weight or food or anything remotely tangential – nor do I give an it-shay. That is their business.
I am entirely overwhelmed just trying to get to work on time every other decade. And that is my business – and I suck it.
I’ve just talked, read and researched it to death – so it is now equivalent to childbirth or marriage to me – “I don’t care if other people do it, but – by all means – leave me out of it.”
So again – this is not a weight loss blog. There are a bazillion people and places where “the numbers” can be discussed in a bazillion different ways. I am just giving my journey some context.
The best way I know to lose some weight is to…
- Drop a boyfriend that shouldn’t be [- 150 lbs.]
- Or finally stop talking to that itch-bay [yes, I am fluent in Pig Latin. Impressed yet?] at work or at Thankgiving dinner or next door that drives you nuts [now, deduct another 150 lbs.]
- Or get rid of all of the it-shay in your house that takes up too much space and is too much work to clean [now, deduct another 20 – 40 lbs.]
And presto magic! [Throw in some Harry Potter spell here…]
And most people will weigh in at -300, at the very least.
Anyway, that’s how it all went down.
Once I accepted my body. And me. I just became less interested in writing about the jiggle of my thighs, cellulite, that soft mound beneath my belly button.
And became more concerned with exorcising and/or accepting life’s REAL jiggly bits. The parts of my life that just hung on my soul, shaking and shaking, every time I wanted to move forward or move at all.
Yes, those jiggly bits. And I’ve had my share…
- Abusive childhood. [So been there, so done that.]
- Sociopath mother. [The itch-bay was – and remains cray cray.]
- Lovers. Walked, walked, walked all over me and my low self-esteem/self-worth [Sigh]
- My voice. I mean the one that spoke my truth, cried my indignation. Didn’t even know I could have one.
The list goes on and on…
But let’s just say speaking up – I mean truly advocating for myself – is firmly in my wheelhouse now.
Demons from the past no longer rule me. Laugh at me. Taunt my soul. Hurt my heart.
I could laugh at them, but who gives an it-shay? That’s when I knew I was truly “fixed” – because every reminder didn’t stop me in my tracks. Fill me with tears. [Boy, there was a time not long ago when I could use 2 boxes of Kleenex on some mom and kid in a Hallmark commercial. For realz.]
But now? Eh. I just feel whole and peaceful [and I wish I could explain it better than that, but that’s all I got.]
I say all of that to say being brutally honest about my past – using words – propelled me past it. Yes, I mean blogging. [I know. Right? It’s totally cray cray.]
But it is what it is.
And certainly, my support system and genuine friendships I made at sparkpeople.com saved my life – on so many levels.
No, I don’t work for them. I mean no one in their right mind would want me to be their spokesperson. I curse too much. I have anger issues that scurry right to surface on special occasions [and holidays, of course.] And I say exactly what I mean – making me politically un-savvy, at best.
But as goddess of everything fabulous, RuPaul, would say: “my goal is to always come from a place of love …but sometimes you just have to break it down for a mother[trucker].”
I guess my fairy tale now would be to share and love and laugh so hard it hurts (but in a good way). To be so honest that it if makes just one person feel less lonely, less hopeless for one second, it would be worth it.
And to wake up every day and say, “I love my jiggly bits.”
The ones on the outside and the inside.
That is my new goal.
That is now my mission for life.
I know it’s a lofty goal. But what can’t we accomplish together?
I am pretty sure the answer is nothing.
I’m just sayin’.
- http://aopinionatedman.com/Opinionated Man is the pen name of someone that doesn’t care to hear the criticism for his thoughts and opinions.You may feel free to share, reblog, sing, comment, or whatever else you feel like just do not steal my words or take credit for them as they are copyrighted and protected by the hounds of hell. (added: 1-29-13 Well… with all these new visitors I have hired some “helpers” to guard my writing… and stuff…please disregard the icy feeling on your neck and down your spine) Thanks and enjoy!Additional Note: 03.13.13 – Since my blog hit 5000 members today I found two lazy Dragons that had nothing better to do than to torment fishermen in Fiji, so I did you a favor Fiji and employed them. Meet Jolly and Lolly, they can belch a flame or two and are generally lazy… but please don’t get them “fired up” … my blog might not survive.Additional Note: 04.03.13 – Today my blog hit 100,000 views and I am very excited. I am also worried about my Chia Pet collection so I asked my 10th grade English teacher to come watch over things. She has great experience with watching for idle hands that swipe things, and she was retired and bored. You really don’t want to mess with her, she can be pretty cranky.
Within this blog, you will find three or more general topics to choose from. Well, actually I have two blogs going on, one for western stories and one on heritage and trail cooking. You can reach either site within the other blog.
The first; For those interested in Old West short stories, click on that category. My stories are written on the spur of the moment. Nothing ticks me off more than spending $10 or more on a paperback then finding the story sucked! Now I’m not saying mine are any better than a published author gets printed, it’s just that I like endings that leave me with the feeling that the time I spent reading it was worth its while. I also love history. You’ll find that many times I place the characters or story itself in a setting that at the time was or still is real. Eg: The storm of the century involves a real storm that occurred in 1950 but I claim artistic license as to the events of the characters. My theory is that the unadulterated truth can be pretty boring, so I lie my tail off to make it a readable story…or something like that. I call it truthful fiction!
The second; My heritage cooking blog. This is a blog on Heritage cooking recipes and related stuff. I once had someone tell me that my recipe was the same as the one they found online. I do scan the cooking sites but don’t copy their recipes then claim I got it from my great grandmother on her death bed. I explained it like this. If your great grandma had a really good recipe, do you think she held it in a bank vault and left it in her will to you? Nope, she shared it with friends and family. How many times have we shared our favorite recipes with others….I bet tons of times! So a family from Idaho can have the same recipe as one in Texas because that recipe was at one time in the past shared. It’s like a family tree. So, don’t get upset if you see your own grandma’s secret recipe for Russian Borscht online under Kim Soo’s Chinese cooking secrets!
The third; Not so short, short stories. These are stories bigger than the 5,000 word ones that many magazines etc limit your submissions to. There are times a 5,000 word story just can’t do what a 8,000 word one does. I had a western magazine once recommend I reduce my 7,200 word short story to 5,000 before they would consider publishing it. I thought it stunk after I cut it down so I never resubmitted it. Anyway, they’re less than a novel but longer than a short story. Again, ‘The storm of the century’ is a good example of this.
About the Author; The old west has always fascinated me. As a kid in Idaho my brothers and I used to scavenge the Oregon trailthat cut through our farm for junk the wagon trail folks left alongside the road. I grew up with Hoppalong Cassidy, Sheriff Spud and yodeling cowboys. As much as I wanted to write my own stories of the old west, I was too busy trying to put food on the table most times to even consider it. I’m kinda’ retired now due to a good beating I got when I fell off a tall building I was working on, so now I find myself with the time to write. Since the accident, I’ve been thinking of changing my name also to Hoppalong but accuracy would dictate I call myself instead, stumble-a-long!
I still get out West from time to time but most of my writing is done from my Lazy Boy here in Florida. When I was younger (and not so stove up) my wife and I worked on a large cattle ranch. She cooked for the hands and I bossed ‘em around! My years spent in the saddle inspecting and mending fences, chasing cows out of the brush, driving cattle to new pasture and sleeping many nights under the stars gave me a new appreciation for our Lord and Creator. He sure did make some awful fine scenery to gaze at while I worked the range!
I miss the cowboy life and live it vicariously now in my writing. Maybe someday I can once again kick off my boots on ranch house porch and hear the bawling cattle letting me know I and my heart are home again. Dreams… even though I’m a bit stove up now, I still dream my dreams.
I was in Cave Creek Arizona one afternoon having some lunch at a local cowboy watering hole when a man and his woman road up on horseback, hitched ‘em to the rail and clunked on inside with their tall heel’d western boots clunking an’ spurs jingling on the wooden walkway. They had been riding to town and because of the days heat, decided to stop and grab a cold one. Now that’s my idea of what a town should be like! I tip my hat to any town still allowing horses on their streets and to those establishments kind enough to provide hitching rails and watering troughs for thirsty Nags.
- http://juliemumonwheels.wordpress.com/Me well to know me you have to know about my family.
I have a mum and dad that have been together for 30plus years they maried in there early 20s and had just me and my big sister.
My dad was in the army till i was about 12 ish then arfter 22years 6 months and 3days he left the army.
there have been times my amazing dad had to take rubbish jobs work all sorts of hours and althou he has moaned and has really hated it at time he has worked to provide for us.
As for my mum she dos everything for everyone she is so helpful and is always running around for someone always doing something. i often worry about her getting warn out but she is always there for her family and friends.
My sister i love my sister to bits at times i love to hate her but love her moment im done moaning about her. She worked dam hard to become a nurse. She loves her job although she works hard and dos not get a lot of gratitude for her job and is under paid.
The there are my two young sons, Kierren-jack who was born on 22-06-06 at 33weeks he was born not breathing and has had some complications but is amazing young man.Then there is Kai-rhys leach he was born on 24-04-2010 at 35 weeks he had some problems but luckly he has bounced back and seems to be doing well now.
That is my family and i am Julianne im a single disabled mum of two boys. And these are the people who have helped me become me in there own ways they keep me strong support me and inspire me (shhhh dont tell them i said that)to be interdependent and try and achieve my dreams as much as possible.
So that is Part I…Now to see if it will finally Publish after trying all day…